Behold My Works

God: “Behold my works, for I have created EVERYTHING! Regard the
sparrow! Look upon the mighty sea! Cast your gaze upon the majestic
mountain tops! For I have created it all!”

Gary: “So, you created everything?”

God: “Indeed I have! Look upon the humble beauty of this delicate daisy.”

Gary: “So you created herpes?”

God: (drops flower) “What?”

Gary: “Herpes. You created that too?”

God: (a little flustered) “I mean, yes. But see this graceful Gazel…”

Gary: “Gangrene?”

God: “Gan…? Yes. Yes I created gangrene. But see now this innocent
child of man, his laughter…”

Gary: “Nazis?”

God: “Dammit Gary! What is your deal, man?”

Gary: “Just sayin’.”

God: “Well don’t ‘just say’, Gary! You’re being a dick.”

Gary: “More or less of a dick than the guy that gave the world herpes Nazis?”

God: “Man. You are just a piece of work, Gary.”

Gary: “Yeah, a piece of work with your signature on it.”

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